The office I work at got broken into on Saturday night. I’m glad my boss got to work this morning before I did (the alarm went off Saturday night, so he knew then anyway) or I would have been freaking out. Probably would have ended up in a corner in the fetal position. Crying and sucking my thumb. Someone broke the glass door and the kicked in the door to the side office where the safe is (we have security tape of it)…and tried to steal the safe. By himself. One guy and a fireproof safe.

I dunno if any of you guys have ever tried to move a fireproof safe, but for serious…you can’t do it. Not by yourself, anyway. They’re really heavy. Once, I got my finger closed in the door and I started to cry.

What a friggin’ idiot. Obviously, the guy knew what he was going for (so it was someone who’d been here before)…but the stuff that’s in the safe is really mostly only valuable to the admin. girls (me and my coworker). Bookkeeping stuff.

NOTE TO ANYONE BREAKING INTO A SAFE: unlike in the movies, not all safes contain gold bars and priceless jewelry. And trying to steal the ENTIRE safe makes NO sense…when you’re in an office, which contains computers and computer equipment which are NOT in a safe. AND when the safe key is literally two feet from the safe…and is not only not hidden, but LABELLED.

Not to mention if you’re able to roll the safe outside (think strong-man competitions where they have to lift tires end-over-end), how the crap are you going to get it in your car? Obviously, you can’t lift it.

And wash your friggin’ hands. There are visible fingerprints where the guy touched. Like he’d been eating fried chicken or something only moments before. Yeesh…