If you’re a parent of an elementary aged kid, you’re well aware that today is Math TAKS day. There’s so much hype surrounding the test, you would think that it’s the MCAT.

My wife is a third grade teacher and my son is a third-grader so I see the pressure that comes from both sides of the desk. The kids are pumped and drilled like they’re preparing for an academic decathalon and the teachers are prodded and pressured like the fate of the school depends on the results (which isn’t too far from the truth).

So, my question of the day is this: do two days of testing really measure what our kids have learned over the year with any accuracy?

In my opinion, the answer is no. I think the TAKS is an effective measure of how well we teach our kids to take tests and in some cases, how effective testing concessions are for kids who are “troubled”. For example, an acquaintance of mine has a son who has ADHD (a quick aside, you notice how everyone now has medical labels firmly affixed to them? When I was a kid, they just called them “little shitheads”) who is, let’s put this delicately, a frickin’ moron. Because he’s a moron, he gets special concessions during the test. He takes each part over two days, instead of one; he’s in a room by himself so that he’s not distracted by things like “people breathing” and stuff. Anyway, he scores a 100 on his TAKS test. There’s no way this kid is any smarter or more educated than 99% of the rest of kids in Texas. A perfect score from a little troglodyte who will probably drop out of school at 15 and lead a life sucking on the teat of society.

What do you think of the heavy emphasis on this one test?

This is one of the things I love about the media:

I guess the Pulitzer is more important 60 people falling SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY FEET to their death.

Remind me to cancel my tickets on the Wylie Coyote Bus Line…

Here are some parties coming up this week. I will be with Dj Nature on the tables on Saturday with Spankrock and Tuesday at the Streets party.

So Spankrock is bringing the fire to Texas with one show in Austin, and one in Denton (940 wins again!!!). If you’re not up on these guys get your limewire/souseek game in order!! The joints are “Blow”, “Backyard Betty”, “Put That Pussy On Me”, “Fukstick”, “Grit City”, “Rick Rubin”…. I could go on. It’s that Bmore nasty shit that the momies go nuts for. These guys were one of the few groups that really came out ahead at SXSW and they blew the roof off of Winter Music. It’s that crazy. I copy pasted the Pitchfork Review so you don’t have to take MY word for it. But, 4 months from now when Good Records has it in the top 5 you won’t even remember that I “told you so”. I’ll be warming up the spot for these guys so get your early drink on at Fry St. Fair, then take you lush ass to Hailey’s for the live sex show.

I’m just getting settled in my new place in Deep Ellum, but still having to make the commute between Denton and Dallas until we start moving the gallery there, which hopefully will be taking place sometime this week. To make my commute a little more bearable, I’m trying to work some in Dallas and travel between traffic rushes, but am looking for WiFi connections to get work done while I’m sitting out traffic. Unfortunately, Deep Ellum is dry on internet. The only places that offer it in my neighborhood are Murray St. Coffee (103 Murray Street), and Cafe Brazil (2815 Elm St). My first thought was that there are so many businesses down there that use the internet, that it would be more available. Looks like I was mistaken. I have yet to use either of these places for internet access, so I’m not sure how they fare yet…I was just wishing I’d be able to leech internet from my home. Wishful thinking I suppse.

I have been talking with the Deep Ellum Association president and there is supposedly a plan in the works to install free WiFi across the whole of Deep Ellum. Hopefully when things get more settled I’ll have more information on that, until then, I know that once our gallery is set up there, we are going to be sure to offer the internet as well!

First time I visited the new DFW Airport Terminal D, it was too early in the morning to take notice. I was an extra in an American Airlines commercial. It was more fun to ogle the craft services table and read a book. Last night, I picked up Erik at the terminal. After finding rock star parking, I enjoyed standing in one spot as numerous moving sidewalks propelled me forward. So disco. And sedentary. This terminal is the land of flat screens, terrazzo floors, slickity slickness, and really confusing signage. I had to ask 3 people where the baggage claim was (the airport workers were equally lost, or wanted to keep me lost). Once Erik and I got ourselves together, we went on a scavenger hunt for the ATM, which led us through the snazzy new Hyatt, built right into the terminal. All very sci-fi and kinda Asian sleek. We happened through the new restaurant at the new hotel, which was a sea of haircut men in polo shirts - a business man mating ground. You could feel the stock market groaning through their conversations, and the expense accounts simmering on the plates at the tables. Where are the prostitutes, I was wondering. I thought these demographics go hand in hand. I wonder if those men were wondering the same thing? In any event, it really was sleek and sophisticated. And the food smelled great. If I was to be stuck at Terminal D without an Admiral’s Club membership, knowing what I now know, I’d hide out there. They had a swanky coffee shop too (called Moka). That reminds me. Future post idea: the independent coffee shops in Dallas (let’s all support them!). Gachet on Greenville is my favorite. Okay, I’ll save that for another post….cheers!

My best friend called me around 10 Friday night and asked if I’d be interested in coming to work a photoshoot at the Hotel ZaZa with him. (I’m a licensed hair stylist and do side work on weddings/special events and such.)
They desperately needed someone to handle makeup [he was handling the hair]. He also asked if I had a friend that could potentially fill in for a missing model. I happened to be hanging out with a friend who is a knockout, so we decided to go.

We go up to the suite to meet my friend and get the scoop on the shoot. The room is just pimp. There’s a full bottle of Absolut and a carafe of fresh pineapple juice for cocktails (which my BFF had already made a decent dent in). The room-called the Medusa suite- is decorated in dark blues and golds, lots of gold brocade and decadent fabrics. It has a killer balcony with a great view of Uptown, and overlooks the Dragonfly club downstairs.
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There’s a custom in North Texas that I’m told is fairly unique to the area: where the major highways and interstates are called by both their numerical designations (I-35, 183, Loop 12) and the “given name” of the road, bestowed in honor of the locally and nationally famous (Stemmons, John Carpenter, Walton Walker). This confuses the hell out of people new to the area at first, which is why I try to include both the official name and the honorific.

When the stretch of I-30 between Dallas and Fort Worth was given the moniker of “Tom Landry Freeway,” I didn’t give it much thought. Landry was a deity in most circles of the Metroplex, and it was a cool way to honor his memory (especially since Jerry Jones was damned sure not going to rename Texas Stadium).

But I saw something this morning that almost made me spit my macchiato all over my windshield:

Apparently, part of I-20 is now going to be called the “Ronald Reagan Memorial Freeway.”

I’m sorry, but what ties did Reagan have with the area? Anything at all? The other honorariums went to people with history in the region, and that extends to the blue-blood Bush The First. This just smacks of insipid pandering. (And I wish to Christ I didn’t have to drive on that stretch of road, but work sometimes demands it. )

From here on out, if legislators want to rename a piece of road, it should at least be left up to a public vote — with the explanation of how much the nae change will cost taxpayers in new signage and so forth.

WELL, THE COLD WEATHER HAS ALL MY FRIENDS hiding inside. as if this is some serious cold and ice! i guess we know how to handle heat in DALLAS BUT NOT COLD!

hello is anyone there is anything going on in dallas i should know about? i stay alone in my apt and have nothing to say anymore about the city at large. this may symptomatic of others in the dfw area.

Deep Ellum has been getting a lot of negative press lately, spawned from the closing of some long-standing music venues like Trees and Dada. The news attention is quite disheartening to a lot of people that have businesses in that area. The recent articles in the Dallas Morning News and the Dallas Observer paint scenes of a boarded up landscape filled with crime, gangs, and lawlessness. What these articles failed to offer was any hope for Deep Ellum, leaving their readers to side with them and write off the area as dying, expecting the public to turn their backs while Deep Ellum releases it’s final breath. Pamela Irwin’s article poses the question, “Why doesn’t anyone seem to care?” Well, there are some who do, and who plan on doing what they can to turn things around.

In June, we are relocating the Art Prostitute Gallery and Boutique to Commerce Street in the heart of Deep Ellum. Already feeling like concerned community members, I recently had the chance to sit for a spell with the Deep Ellum Association president and discuss some of the concerns, and plans for initiating a turn in perspective toward this culturally valuable area of Dallas. As we started making plans to move to Dallas, Art Prostitute deliberated for quite some time as to where we were going to call our new home. With all this recent press on Deep Ellum, we are now more satisfied than ever with our new location. Instead of being fearful and swayed by all the dirt flung about in the media, we view it as the place in Dallas that can benefit the most from what we want to bring to the city. We are looking forward to being a part of a close-knit art, music, and residential community. Already Deep Ellum offers opportunities for businesses and residents to be an active part of events like the upcoming Deep Ellum Arts Festival in April, in addition to other film and music festivals that happen throughout each year. What other part of Dallas offers these kind of culturally diverse community events in one location? Already there are great places to eat, to hang out, and live in the area. Already there is a rich cultural history to build on. Plans are in the works to bring some great things to the area. Talk of free wi-fi across Deep Ellum, building restorations, and making the area just feel cleaner are quickly turning into actual plans. There is some excitement for the future Deep Ellum, it’s just that the buzz at the moment is being made between a few bees. Regardless, where there’s bees, there’s honey.

Of course re-building confidence in Deep Ellum is not going to happen overnight. The whole process of re-building a sense of community starts with actually being a part of the community. Art Prostitute is excited to be a part of it all. With each recent visit to Deep Ellum we’ve made in preparation to our move, we have already been approached by residents, business owners, and the like who greet us with warm smiles and already are making us feel welcome.