The Metroplex is growing like crazy from the influx of folks moving here from all over the country. One of the most stressful things about moving from out of the area is figuring out if you’re moving into a good neighborhood.

All of the real estate sites provide information about schools, crime rates, sale comps, but are those statistics really valid?

I think not. So, I’ve devised the following formula to help you find out if you’re moving into a good neighborhood.

It’s a little bit of work, but isn’t your peace of mind worth it?

The formula uses the types of businesses that are within a two mile radius of your prospective home.

It is as follows:

(B+HV) X Sb X (PfC +Ch) X (LS + WC)

In laymen’s terms, take the number of banks and add the number of Hollywood Video stores. Take the result and multiply that by the number of Starbucks. Multiply that by the product of the number of P.F Chang’s and Chipotles in the area.

And finally, multiply that by the number of liquor stores and William’s Chicken locations (not KFC, not Church’s–has to be William’s Chicken).

If your result is over zero, you may want to consider another area.

Urban Arts Festival

When: Friday, April 21 through Sunday, April 23
Where: Southside On Lamar, 1409 South Lamar, Dallas, Texas 75215
Cost: Free
Age limit: All ages

Description:
Honorary Chair Erykah Badu invites you to join in the Urban Arts Festival at South Side. Immerse yourself in the contemporary, spontaneous and expressive urban art scene as expressed by Dallas’s best - theater, spoken word, hip-hop, chalk art, live music, art fair and more.

Art Prostitute and the DMA have some art there too!

Get the whole scoop at www.urbanartsfest.com.

If you’re a parent of an elementary aged kid, you’re well aware that today is Math TAKS day. There’s so much hype surrounding the test, you would think that it’s the MCAT.

My wife is a third grade teacher and my son is a third-grader so I see the pressure that comes from both sides of the desk. The kids are pumped and drilled like they’re preparing for an academic decathalon and the teachers are prodded and pressured like the fate of the school depends on the results (which isn’t too far from the truth).

So, my question of the day is this: do two days of testing really measure what our kids have learned over the year with any accuracy?

In my opinion, the answer is no. I think the TAKS is an effective measure of how well we teach our kids to take tests and in some cases, how effective testing concessions are for kids who are “troubled”. For example, an acquaintance of mine has a son who has ADHD (a quick aside, you notice how everyone now has medical labels firmly affixed to them? When I was a kid, they just called them “little shitheads”) who is, let’s put this delicately, a frickin’ moron. Because he’s a moron, he gets special concessions during the test. He takes each part over two days, instead of one; he’s in a room by himself so that he’s not distracted by things like “people breathing” and stuff. Anyway, he scores a 100 on his TAKS test. There’s no way this kid is any smarter or more educated than 99% of the rest of kids in Texas. A perfect score from a little troglodyte who will probably drop out of school at 15 and lead a life sucking on the teat of society.

What do you think of the heavy emphasis on this one test?

My boyfriend’s birthday is tomorrow, and we celebrated Saturday by watching the big UFC pay-per-view event at Hooters in the West End. There was a huge group of friends there, and pretty much everyone in the restaraunt was pumped about the fight card, so it was really fun. [I’m still pissed that Arlovsky lost to Silvia. Bunk.

After that we went to the Lakewood Landing and got my boyfriend good and drunk. They were nice enough to give him a free shot of SoCo for the occasion. Too bad he got sick on the way home. LOL

Today was kinda fucked up. This guy called the office like 12 times today, saying he’s calling from our tech support in NYC and he is testing our phone lines, and could I transfer him to this or that extension. I transferred him several times, thinking nothing of it-the lady who is my backup on the phones tranferred him a couple of times as well. He was calling from a 212 number, which is the area code all our corporate office numbers originate from.

Sooo fast forward to this afternoon around 4…and it’s all “hello, this the DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, sup?” on my phone. WTF?

Oh yah, and the FBI called as well.
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I never want to read another post about how there is nothing to do in Dallas…our good friend Select is going to keep us all on point when it comes to party rockin’. Stay up baby boy!

It is Wednesday I’m aware, but wanted to let everyone know about Tuesdays @ Zyphers on Lower Greenville. I don’t really know much about the spot. It was nice and not really grimey but my friend Phooka and Donny play up there on Tuesdays! Check the flyer below. They had 3 wells I believe for drink specials. Mostly drum and bass styles all night.

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There is another party if you are into House music this Saturday. April 22nd @ Zubar on Lower Greenville. Will not be out to this party. I will be at Spankrock w/Nature this saturday! @ Haileys. Don’t forget to check out spankrock —-> www.myspace.com/spankrock - and see why Urb labeled them under Next 100 list!
Check my earlier post for the Spankrock show!!!

see everyone out!!

This is one of the things I love about the media:

I guess the Pulitzer is more important 60 people falling SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY FEET to their death.

Remind me to cancel my tickets on the Wylie Coyote Bus Line…

Here are some parties coming up this week. I will be with Dj Nature on the tables on Saturday with Spankrock and Tuesday at the Streets party.

So Spankrock is bringing the fire to Texas with one show in Austin, and one in Denton (940 wins again!!!). If you’re not up on these guys get your limewire/souseek game in order!! The joints are “Blow”, “Backyard Betty”, “Put That Pussy On Me”, “Fukstick”, “Grit City”, “Rick Rubin”…. I could go on. It’s that Bmore nasty shit that the momies go nuts for. These guys were one of the few groups that really came out ahead at SXSW and they blew the roof off of Winter Music. It’s that crazy. I copy pasted the Pitchfork Review so you don’t have to take MY word for it. But, 4 months from now when Good Records has it in the top 5 you won’t even remember that I “told you so”. I’ll be warming up the spot for these guys so get your early drink on at Fry St. Fair, then take you lush ass to Hailey’s for the live sex show.

I’m just getting settled in my new place in Deep Ellum, but still having to make the commute between Denton and Dallas until we start moving the gallery there, which hopefully will be taking place sometime this week. To make my commute a little more bearable, I’m trying to work some in Dallas and travel between traffic rushes, but am looking for WiFi connections to get work done while I’m sitting out traffic. Unfortunately, Deep Ellum is dry on internet. The only places that offer it in my neighborhood are Murray St. Coffee (103 Murray Street), and Cafe Brazil (2815 Elm St). My first thought was that there are so many businesses down there that use the internet, that it would be more available. Looks like I was mistaken. I have yet to use either of these places for internet access, so I’m not sure how they fare yet…I was just wishing I’d be able to leech internet from my home. Wishful thinking I suppse.

I have been talking with the Deep Ellum Association president and there is supposedly a plan in the works to install free WiFi across the whole of Deep Ellum. Hopefully when things get more settled I’ll have more information on that, until then, I know that once our gallery is set up there, we are going to be sure to offer the internet as well!